could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize