man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
