If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
