I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
