Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Small penises have feelings too.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
