Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
