I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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