Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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