I just saw a hot homeless man
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
