Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
