Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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