Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
