they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
