What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
