i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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