Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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