I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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