Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
