I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
