Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
