It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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