I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.