some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked