So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
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found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out