The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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