What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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