i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
