I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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