I heard we made out
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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