When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
