all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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