So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
