Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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