Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
