Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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