What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The air was thick with penises
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
