u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
