The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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