Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
then he tried to convert me to islam
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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