I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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