My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
