just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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