Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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