I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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