I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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