Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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