Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
