My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
