Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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