i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
