around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
