I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
