I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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