Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
