It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
