You're a womanizer and a bitch.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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