i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
